I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
