i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
