Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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