She is in my trunk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
