was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
