i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
