Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
love makes seman taste better
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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