Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
