eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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