omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
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She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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