I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
How's work?
Spinning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
