recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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