i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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