im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
