your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
