JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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