he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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