It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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