If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
