dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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