I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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