I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize