remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
