Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
