so explain again why im purple
no
kristin has been a bad kristin
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
