sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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