$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
