I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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