white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
