I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
