question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
