he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
