; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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