I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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