I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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