do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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