i'm signing you up for texting rehab
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
