girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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