Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
