Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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