I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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