i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize