I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
