and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
