I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it hurts more in the daytime
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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