so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize