im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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