just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
