Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
