you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
