There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
