proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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