who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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