he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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