I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
