worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
