thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
